My Life with Lisa

It would be very easy now everything was always wonderful, and Lisa was the first day of sunshine. It would simply say that .... But a lie.

Even now 8 Years later, I remember very well, that the first year with Lisa was a very big challenge. It was exhausting, brought me to my limits more often and there were moments where I could cry out of sheer exhaustion, yet.

Whatever the reason, or whether it might be perfectly normal for children RCDP, I do not know, But Lisa hated to be touched. It did not matter what I did, even if I only stroked her tiny hands, She began to scream in. Thus, of course, each diaper and dress for both of us to utter horror trip. She screamed and I was more nervous for fear I would hurt her. Oh, we both were just great to swing up at each other ... a real dream team.

To make matters worse, Lisa was due to their distance, both contact lenses and lens cataract glasses. The hooks on the lenses was, that they are clean every morning and every evening had to get out. And now imagine someone, how it should be rumzufummeln with large adult hands in little baby eyes. No tools (Such pipettes, Contact lenses are supposed to suck in the) exonerated two of us and we fought every day and often while I pulled her from the corner of my eye accidentally slightly. It was horrible ... I wanted to help my daughter and did her while also still hurt! And it came like it had come, Lisa was given at regular intervals conjunctivitis. This meant for us ... contact break.

What a blessing! For, lo!, when Lisa was not wearing contact lenses and simply allowed to use their eyes, She was happy and satisfied! I was allowed to touch her, I was allowed to come near her and she was not afraid! It took quite a long time, until I realized this relationship. But it was clear to me from time to time, probably the things that Lisa, they did not see any process could and then suddenly everything came to her zugerauscht, her hellish fear einjagte. Unfortunately, I did not know at this time, that it would have been an even the blind, which would have been in this situation to one side. And so I decided for the sake of my daughter, off the lens care. So I got Lisa's fear of contact slowly into the handle and we were able to spend Kuschelstunde. We developed our own way to do some things, with zB. I pulled Lisa always starting from the feet. I never took her just over his head, first because of this feeling stuck in a sweater, or body not to bear any and secondly because I could not move her arms, not by the Tetraspastik.

But of course I was also over the years repeatedly faced situations where I thought: "It is enough! How much do or can not stand my child still?"ZB. Lisa, with approx. 5 Years of epilepsy and had received increasing attacks ... they screaming, gasped, looked as if she would see a monster, her glance was so full of panic. Or as they Christmas 2008 was so seriously ill, I was just still afraid that their lives will of this time would not be enough. I held her in my arms and begged her silently to continue to fight, that we still want to experience so much and I want to show her so much. And again she brought this inhuman strength to make further, not give up and make the next breath.

Of course, the idea, that it might be the last day with my little angel, never quite get out of my head. It is like a shadow, you can not see the, but always there is. And I've learned from that day of each to enjoy with my daughter so very special. I do not know how long their power still goes and how long our luck still holds. ... And I know, that the big day will eventually tear up my life from his roots, but until then:

I am grateful, that I may have a little angel on my side.